Getting properly plastered
Old friends and a new arrival in the valley
It was dusk and we were wandering around the silent building site pondering where to place outside taps when a fancy truck pulled up.
The Little Black Dog (LBD) was transitioning from timid to over-excited (more on him later), and we were surprised: we don’t get people ‘round ‘ere after the sun’s set.
Then a smallish, tough-looking guy speaking Portuguese leaped down from the shiny grey Ford Tracker flanked by heavies and started walking towards us...with purpose, looking around...with interest.
So this was it: the local mafia had arrived, investigating what we were building and how they were going to take their cut.
I couldn’t see any iron bars, but I also couldn’t see their hands.
“Reboque” I was sure he said – Portuguese for trailer – but what did he mean? Were we going to be towed by a car? Was it a threat?
Ana stepped in calmly as he repeated the word: reboco – Portuguese for plaster.
A small difference in pronunciation, but a massive difference in meaning: we smiled nervously, then grinned broadly and then shook their hands warmly.
This was the Moldovan Front Row as they came to be known and they were sussing the joint...ahead of their arrival with machinery and metric tonnes of cement the following week.
This was the legendary travelling plastering team we’d heard about – the fastest plasterers in the west...of Alentejo certainly.
For weeks we had been awaiting news of their arrival. The builders had been concreting and levelling surfaces, the electrician, the plumber and heatpump Paulo had been busy installing, piping and prepping in anticipation of this day.
They had swept into Vera & Joep’s place, mixed and pumped plaster onto the walls with something resembling a fireman’s hose.
They had trowelled and smoothed, sponged and finished their new buildings beautifully and then as quickly as they had arrived they had gone...and the painting work had begun.
Now it was our turn.
Being big lads with broad enough shoulders to swing a bucket load of plaster on one giant trowel they reminded me of a rugby front row.
As the Rugby World Cup in France begins the knock-out stage, we were very glad Moldova hadn’t qualified this year – as these fellas might well have been in France rather than here.
The front row was where Alan Gledson and I played some years ago, and while neither of us can wield a whole bucket of tile glue on one trowel any longer, we still think we can and so have spent the best part of three weeks attempting to achieve the unachievable.
We set out last month when Alan and Margery arrived to “help us with a bit of tiling” and we are now the proud owners of two fully refitted guesthouse bathrooms.
Margery went home a week earlier but Alan refused to even book a flight back until we were well on our way to finishing.
The first challenge was chiselling out the concrete surrounding the baths – it seems the Germans who built the place erred on the side of caution and cast the cast iron bath in concrete.
When the jackhammering stopped, Alan kept vibrating...for a couple of days...any good rugby referee would have sent him off for a head injury assessment as it was clearly a concussion.
Then we started taking off the horrible white things previously known as tiles with the aforementioned hammer.
With tile chips flying there was blood on the floor and the walls, and then we decided to cut into the brick and install new in-wall showers similar to those in our new buildings.
That’s when we taught ourselves plumbing from YouTube (using PEX or Polyethylene cross-linked pipe), borrowed a bender from the plumber and a crimper from Joep – to link the pipes and connect the showers and sinks. Let’s hope the joints hold.
Thankfully we were able to take notes from the building site to learn how to do it properly before the Moldovan Front Row arrived and covered everything up with plaster so beautifully.
We covered things up not quite so beautifully, installed the new shower base trays and began “a bit of tiling.”
It was tough work – even more so because of the unusually high summer-style temperatures.
Alan did most of the skilled stuff, while I did the measuring and cutting, mixing and cleaning, but day by day the level of finished tile increased.
Then there was the grouting, and Ana switched from working on our main project (and cooking like a demon) to join the push to get the bathrooms finished before our next guests arrive.
Alan worked on the shower screens while I worked out vinyl click flooring – cutting, shaping and placing.
Guido the wonderful German boiler master appeared on cue to reinstall the radiators and get the whole drained water boiler and solar system pressurised and back up and running.
The final act was fitting the toilets, sealing anywhere water might get in...and adding all the finishing touches.
Alan Gledson, you are a legend...a force of nature...a bloody-minded, determined, unmovable machine...and thank you for helping us and for creating two beautiful new bathrooms and for “going Egyptian” to fetch our new bar.
And thanks so much to our generous neighbour Daniel for kindly putting the Gledsons up while they didn’t have bathrooms! We couldn’t have done it without you.
In a fraction of the time it took us to do a bit of tiling, the Moldovan Front Row had pretty much plastered all three buildings inside and out.
They’ll do the last bits this weekend (yes, they work weekends).
It looks stunning, the finishing is beautiful and although it was all the hard work by Senhor Manuel’s guys which got us here, the plastering is the icing on the cake which makes everything look more real and more finished.
With a three-phase power generator, truck-loads of cement mix and a lot of hard work they covered all the floors and walls with their fire hose and then smoothed it all to perfection, prepping for the tiling team who will be coming next.
We’re still a long way from being done – the next juggling act is to bring the underfloor heating and polished concrete guys together as soon as possible, make sure the doors and windows are correctly ordered...and the small matters of the electricity and water infrastructure.
But it’s all heading in the right direction.
It’s hard to know what the LBD has made of all this.
The Little Black Dog is a young puppy with a docked tail who just turned up one day hungry and scared and seems to have made the top of the hill his home...not entirely because he gets fed and watered by us and the builders.
Anyway, he helped me resolve a feeling that I was going slightly mad...
Given that not long ago I thought DIY was something you were cited for in the US for drinking and driving, I’m doing OK, but my biggest problem is spending half the time looking for tools I’ve just left in various places.
Having passed 50 I regularly struggle with readings glasses retention, but pencils, tape measures and trowels seemed to migrate between rooms on their own.
But what made me question my own sanity was the disappearance of the yellow cleaning brush for the concrete buckets.
“Nope,” said Alan. “I haven’t seen it...I don’t even know what it looks like.”
So I bought another one.
We left a blanket out for LBD, and the next day it was gone. Weird. And then a mop went missing.
Just I was pondering the possibility of poltergeists, LBD bounded over and I realised he wasn’t just a plastic insulation and doormat chewer but was also a hoarder.
I found his stash next to the builders’ hut that he has made home. Mop, blanket, yellow brush and various clothing items and shoes pinched from the Moldovan Front Row.
He’s a lovely dog with a wonderful nature and we’re looking for someone to give him a home...so please let me know if you can fit an LBD into your life.
I was enjoying this post until you mentioned the rugby World Cup. Poor Ireland and the curse of the quarterfinals ! Hope you are both well, Gary
Wow guys you are really going full steam now, Allen sounds wonderful, everyone should have one 😀you are really working hard. Love the story about the LBD, made me laugh. Reckon you should just keep him. By the way I wonder if his tail was in an accident rather than docked. Have a lovely Sunday.