Hey Alistair, as one ex-BBCer to another, I feel moved to say sometimes it’s just okay to sit with the uncertainty. Being free to do what you want has meant taking on LOADS of responsibility, because you’re not the type to go easy. It’s both joyous AND terrifying. As I opened your post, I’d just read this Nietzsche quote (not something I’ve ever said before and I’m aware how it sounds but please bear with me, it’s in Oliver Burkeman’s brilliant book Four Thousand Weeks): “we labour at our daily work more ardently and thoughtlessly than is necessary to sustain our life because to us it is even more necessary not to have leisure to stop and think. Haste is universal because everyone is in flight from himself”. Your blogpost shows you’re not in flight. You’re really doing stuff the hard way. And it’s brave of you. P
I started a similar project when I was 54 now I'm 62 have been open to guests for three years, the bureaucracy and builders took most of my 50's...the guests are lovely, younger than my own children with what seems like bottomless pockets and a sense of self care that defies my understanding,my Portuguese wife a teacher, has been working with children for 41 years and every summer she leaves her class of 25 kindergarten children to serve beautiful breakfasts to said young people, this year in our 60's we learnt a lesson from these young people that we needed to look after Us first. We shut the door, slept in, swam in the pool without having to smile and converse, we had the joy of arguing without worrying that the guests would hear, going to bed early without waiting on guests with delayed flights, Oh! the money we've lost and we don't give a dam, we have our life back, the house is quiet, I pick figs and almonds naked in the garden, don't have to recall the same stories to for the hundredth time.......ten years is all I ask, ten years of freedom before I'm too old or ill or just worn out. Yes the young have taught me something and I'm grateful to them
Hi Alistair, I full understand the difficulties of grappling for a new sense of purpose. I retired far ahead of schedule after an aggressive bout of cancer, now thankfully at bay.
As a manager in the latter part of my career I always seemed to be grappling with a wide range of heavy demands and responsibilities. Suddenly it was all gone and the digital and actual silence in my life was unnerving. But there is a new and fulfilling richness that comes from building a different life together away from the daily grind. Your story and the energy you bring to it has been truly inspiring. I have no doubt your drive and motivation and focus will return and you shouldn’t feel bad about a temporary setback. Take your time and distract yourself with things you enjoy and it will hopefully fall into place. Lots of people around the world (we are chasing our dream in France) wishing you all the best and sending you ripples of optimism. I hope that collective goodwill gives you a lift and for now very best wish for the future, kind regards, Gary
Have your sawmill guy make some thinner pieces of the oak (and even better some olive) to pawn off at a reasonable price to your guests after next Easter 🐰. The wood makes great cutting boards, cheese trays etc. and uneven edges (as well as holes) are just a bonus. After sanding to a rather fine grit (that's what takes time) finish with a soak in paraffin oil and/or make a paste of oil and beeswax.
Slices of branches, with or without cracks make perfect coasters those don't need food-safe finish but some oil is quite nice. Perhaps the locals have even better traditional finishes?
I felt like that throughout the whole London winter - your description of the sofa getting bigger truly struck a cord.
We’ve all been conditioned to feel like we have to be proactive or reactive or at the least active all the fucking time. Of course, there’s always stuff that needs to be done. But ultimately, how important is it in the grand scheme of things? Perhaps you should just lean into the sofa a little more and accept that you need a bit of a rest. Then, some time later, try to do something for 5 minutes at a time. Bit by bit you’ll re-emerge from the slump, I’m sure of it.
Oh my, you really are going through it. Mind, it seems to have been coming on for weeks now. Just one thing does occur to me, though I’m sure having gone for health checks you will have had blood tests. Only thyroid crossed my mind. You are an amazing guy you know, and as you say it could all be a reaction to what has gone on before, and the finality of no longer working for the BBC. A male menopause! It’s rather hard to get out of the slough of despond, but you will Alistair. Because you can. Everyone will be rooting for you 😀😀 with love Annie x x
Hi Alistair.. we used to work on Planning together years ago at the BBC. I love your blogs, for me it’s armchair travel and adventure, even if they do make me feel exhausted! I take on tonnes, I’ll start landscaping the garden, painting a room, all the while working, being a single mum and walking the dog. Every now and then I slump and do nothing! My motivation completely goes and I wonder if I’ll ever pick up another paintbrush. But I do… I think it’s all a normal human cycle xx
I love reading your blog, not surprised to hear you have hit a bit of a wall, it’s a daunting project and lifestyle you have taken on. Take it easy when you think you can’t, enjoy and take time to get your self together, it will pass, just remember why you started this adventure and try to rise above it, easy for me to say but I wish you all the best. Simon
I burned out on a research/software project that went on for years when I thought it would take a few weeks. Research is like that, it raises too many new questions and software moves at a glacial pace to boot. My financial problems piled up, I burned out on the software work, got Covid, told the doctors I didn't care if I died so they decided I was suicidal! They gave me a prescription for an anti-convulsant which is also a mood stabilizer, I turned the finances over to my wife who is very good with that, I rested up and am back at it, putting in way less hours on the research and software and enjoying life... My wife likes me a lot better on the med so yeah, say prayers and wait for the answers, no?
It has been that kind of month! We are still waiting for our Italian paperwork (we submitted everything in September) & closing on the Venice house (we wrote a big check in March) We have been living out of suitcases since March & my husband retired in September. Here’s to some clarity & forward motion for all of us soon. As the Romans say, Daje & the Venetians Duri i banchi!!
Have loved following your story Alastair and the bravery (typical of you) displayed on the journey so far. Easy for me to say but some rest and reflection on just what you have achieved already sounds in order. Mutual friends A&M G. I believe are visiting you soon, just the tonic you need.
If life was always 'good' we'd never do anything. Well at least I wouldn't. Why rock the boat if it all works. The real challenge is dealing with the frustations. But what comes round goes round and when you cut that ribbon next Easter it will all be worth it. As an architect the shit I get from clients. The anger, frustation, the endless haggling over money and in the end they move in, they get what they wanted and 9 out of 10 times it has made their lives better. Not enough say Thank you! Construction is a thankless job. It's messy, difficult and as hard as you try something no matter how big or small always goes wrong. Preferably only a little wrong. It's sorting it and moving on that really matters. The stamina comes from knowing nothing is for ever. Apart from taxes and death!Enjoy California! That will help.
We are in the Algarve in August. Maybe meet up with Mr. Westhead? I believe they will be there too. Força to both
You’re gonna get there, if it was easy we’d all do it
As the portuguese would say "Força Aí"
It’s the heat. Full stop.
Hey Alistair, as one ex-BBCer to another, I feel moved to say sometimes it’s just okay to sit with the uncertainty. Being free to do what you want has meant taking on LOADS of responsibility, because you’re not the type to go easy. It’s both joyous AND terrifying. As I opened your post, I’d just read this Nietzsche quote (not something I’ve ever said before and I’m aware how it sounds but please bear with me, it’s in Oliver Burkeman’s brilliant book Four Thousand Weeks): “we labour at our daily work more ardently and thoughtlessly than is necessary to sustain our life because to us it is even more necessary not to have leisure to stop and think. Haste is universal because everyone is in flight from himself”. Your blogpost shows you’re not in flight. You’re really doing stuff the hard way. And it’s brave of you. P
I started a similar project when I was 54 now I'm 62 have been open to guests for three years, the bureaucracy and builders took most of my 50's...the guests are lovely, younger than my own children with what seems like bottomless pockets and a sense of self care that defies my understanding,my Portuguese wife a teacher, has been working with children for 41 years and every summer she leaves her class of 25 kindergarten children to serve beautiful breakfasts to said young people, this year in our 60's we learnt a lesson from these young people that we needed to look after Us first. We shut the door, slept in, swam in the pool without having to smile and converse, we had the joy of arguing without worrying that the guests would hear, going to bed early without waiting on guests with delayed flights, Oh! the money we've lost and we don't give a dam, we have our life back, the house is quiet, I pick figs and almonds naked in the garden, don't have to recall the same stories to for the hundredth time.......ten years is all I ask, ten years of freedom before I'm too old or ill or just worn out. Yes the young have taught me something and I'm grateful to them
Hi Alistair, I full understand the difficulties of grappling for a new sense of purpose. I retired far ahead of schedule after an aggressive bout of cancer, now thankfully at bay.
As a manager in the latter part of my career I always seemed to be grappling with a wide range of heavy demands and responsibilities. Suddenly it was all gone and the digital and actual silence in my life was unnerving. But there is a new and fulfilling richness that comes from building a different life together away from the daily grind. Your story and the energy you bring to it has been truly inspiring. I have no doubt your drive and motivation and focus will return and you shouldn’t feel bad about a temporary setback. Take your time and distract yourself with things you enjoy and it will hopefully fall into place. Lots of people around the world (we are chasing our dream in France) wishing you all the best and sending you ripples of optimism. I hope that collective goodwill gives you a lift and for now very best wish for the future, kind regards, Gary
Have your sawmill guy make some thinner pieces of the oak (and even better some olive) to pawn off at a reasonable price to your guests after next Easter 🐰. The wood makes great cutting boards, cheese trays etc. and uneven edges (as well as holes) are just a bonus. After sanding to a rather fine grit (that's what takes time) finish with a soak in paraffin oil and/or make a paste of oil and beeswax.
Slices of branches, with or without cracks make perfect coasters those don't need food-safe finish but some oil is quite nice. Perhaps the locals have even better traditional finishes?
Hi Alastair!
I felt like that throughout the whole London winter - your description of the sofa getting bigger truly struck a cord.
We’ve all been conditioned to feel like we have to be proactive or reactive or at the least active all the fucking time. Of course, there’s always stuff that needs to be done. But ultimately, how important is it in the grand scheme of things? Perhaps you should just lean into the sofa a little more and accept that you need a bit of a rest. Then, some time later, try to do something for 5 minutes at a time. Bit by bit you’ll re-emerge from the slump, I’m sure of it.
Oh my, you really are going through it. Mind, it seems to have been coming on for weeks now. Just one thing does occur to me, though I’m sure having gone for health checks you will have had blood tests. Only thyroid crossed my mind. You are an amazing guy you know, and as you say it could all be a reaction to what has gone on before, and the finality of no longer working for the BBC. A male menopause! It’s rather hard to get out of the slough of despond, but you will Alistair. Because you can. Everyone will be rooting for you 😀😀 with love Annie x x
Hi Alistair.. we used to work on Planning together years ago at the BBC. I love your blogs, for me it’s armchair travel and adventure, even if they do make me feel exhausted! I take on tonnes, I’ll start landscaping the garden, painting a room, all the while working, being a single mum and walking the dog. Every now and then I slump and do nothing! My motivation completely goes and I wonder if I’ll ever pick up another paintbrush. But I do… I think it’s all a normal human cycle xx
I love reading your blog, not surprised to hear you have hit a bit of a wall, it’s a daunting project and lifestyle you have taken on. Take it easy when you think you can’t, enjoy and take time to get your self together, it will pass, just remember why you started this adventure and try to rise above it, easy for me to say but I wish you all the best. Simon
I burned out on a research/software project that went on for years when I thought it would take a few weeks. Research is like that, it raises too many new questions and software moves at a glacial pace to boot. My financial problems piled up, I burned out on the software work, got Covid, told the doctors I didn't care if I died so they decided I was suicidal! They gave me a prescription for an anti-convulsant which is also a mood stabilizer, I turned the finances over to my wife who is very good with that, I rested up and am back at it, putting in way less hours on the research and software and enjoying life... My wife likes me a lot better on the med so yeah, say prayers and wait for the answers, no?
It has been that kind of month! We are still waiting for our Italian paperwork (we submitted everything in September) & closing on the Venice house (we wrote a big check in March) We have been living out of suitcases since March & my husband retired in September. Here’s to some clarity & forward motion for all of us soon. As the Romans say, Daje & the Venetians Duri i banchi!!
Hope you get your mojo back shortly.
A couple of boulevardiers might help
Have loved following your story Alastair and the bravery (typical of you) displayed on the journey so far. Easy for me to say but some rest and reflection on just what you have achieved already sounds in order. Mutual friends A&M G. I believe are visiting you soon, just the tonic you need.
If life was always 'good' we'd never do anything. Well at least I wouldn't. Why rock the boat if it all works. The real challenge is dealing with the frustations. But what comes round goes round and when you cut that ribbon next Easter it will all be worth it. As an architect the shit I get from clients. The anger, frustation, the endless haggling over money and in the end they move in, they get what they wanted and 9 out of 10 times it has made their lives better. Not enough say Thank you! Construction is a thankless job. It's messy, difficult and as hard as you try something no matter how big or small always goes wrong. Preferably only a little wrong. It's sorting it and moving on that really matters. The stamina comes from knowing nothing is for ever. Apart from taxes and death!Enjoy California! That will help.
We are in the Algarve in August. Maybe meet up with Mr. Westhead? I believe they will be there too. Força to both